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Title: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Released: 2012

Rated: R

Genre: Horror, Action

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

 

Starring:

  • Benjamin Walker – Abraham Lincoln
  • Dominic Cooper – Henry Sturgis
  • Mary Elizabeth Winstead – Mary Todd Lincoln
  • Anthony Mackie – Will Johnson
  • Rufus Sewell – Adam
  • Jimmi Simpson – Joshua Speed

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is the secret history of our 16th President in which we discover that Honest Abe (Benjamin Walker) not only preserved out Union and freed the slaves, but also protected us from the wave of vampirism that was sweeping across the nation.

We discover that Lincoln’s mother was killed by a vampire, and Abe saw it happen. This sets him on a lifelong quest for vengeance against bloodsuckers. Unfortunately, they prove to be a bit tougher than he anticipated. Luckily, Henry Sturgis (Dominic Cooper) arrives and knows how to fight the undead. He trains Abe in exchange for the agreement that Abe will only destroy the vampires that Henry tells him need destroying.

Abe spends years hunting and killing vampires, and discovers that the vamps are pro-slavery. Slaves provide them sustenance without anyone asking any questions when they disappear. Lincoln decides that slavery must end once and for all, and deciding that the pen is mightier than the sword, begins the journey to the presidency and finally the Civil War.

I had the great misfortune of reading the book before I saw the movie. I though the book was excellent. Seth Grahame-Smith wrote a novel that intertwines the known history of President Lincoln with this secret history we never knew about. The goal of any good science fiction or fantasy book or movie is to present itself realistically enough so that the reader/viewer will buy into the story, believe in it, and join in the journey from beginning to end with the characters.

The novel accomplished this. It was well researched and seamlessly combines history with horror fiction. This wasn’t a simple task, as the entire premise sounds laughable right from the start.

The movie, on the other hand, does not do this in any way. It seems to build on the ridiculousness of the premise by adding plot devices that are convenient and contribute to accentuating the action sequences.

The action sequences are great and are enhanced by the 3D experience. Had I not known how much the movie had changed from the book, I might have been able to enjoy it more. The suspension of disbelief was shattered for me though with the silliness of some of the ideas and sequences.

We get to see a chase scene that was never seen before in the history of motion pictures. Deprived of cars, or any vehicles that could be used during this period in history, they opted for a scene in which our hero is chasing an evil vampire through a stampeding herd of horses. The vampire actually picks up a horse and throws it at Abe, who grabs it and starts riding it. All while running at breakneck speeds in the middle of a herd. I actually laughed there.

Later on, we see a horse and carriage driven through a brick wall, like it was a tank. I was rolling my eyes there too. Mary Todd Lincoln participates in one of the biggest clichés in the movie, when she drops her dead son’s silver toy onto the barrel of a gun and fires at a vamp attacking her. I believe that she had some Schwarzenegger-like line here as well, but I can’t remember what it was. I couldn’t get past the fact that the First Lady was attending to the wounded at the Battle of Gettysburg.

Apparently, Vampires can’t attack each other, which is convenient to the storyline, and only bad people can turn into vampires when they are bitten. Good people just die. Although later in the movie Abe gets the offer to have his son returned to life as a vampire. I guess he must have been a very bad boy. You also get to see vampires fighting each other, even though they make the point very distinctly that this can’t happen. Hey, at least stay consistent within the movie itself.

The scene from the previews in which Abe cuts down a tree a foot wide with one blow was cool I’ll admit, but he has no enhanced powers to accomplish this impossible task, no mystical abilities. It seems that you only need to be really pissed off and tell yourself the truth of things in order to do this yourself; however I don’t recommend trying it.

Another thing I wouldn’t try is standing on top of a stove pipe hat, which is exactly what Mary Todd does in order to be tall enough to kiss Abe on the lips. Cute sure, but what did they think these hats were made out of? Did Abe get his hat from Oddjob of James Bond Fame?

I didn’t feel involved with the characters, which is difficult as Abraham Lincoln is a personal hero of mine. There was some nice interaction between Mary Todd and Abe, but even that didn’t ring true. Where are Abe’s other kids? Why didn’t they let Mary Todd lose much of her sanity from the death of her son, as is what happened in real life? There was a lot more tragedy in the real life of Abe Lincoln than what they used in the film to try to get you emotionally invested. This was both a failure on the screenwriter and the director’s part. It’s a shame because Grahame-Smith adapted his own novel to the screenplay. I can almost hear the meeting in which he was told: “Ok, this is going to be an action flick. We need you to throw in a bad guy that Lincoln can chase and forget about all that historical stuff. History is boring. Throw in more action. Don’t sweat the details, we’ll make it work.”

Unfortunately, they didn’t.

I thought the acting was ok. Benjamin Walker made a pretty good Lincoln. I didn’t see any stellar performances that stood out. It was the inconsistent goofiness of the story that killed this movie for me. As I said, if I hadn’t read the book I probably would have enjoyed it much more and accepted it for what it was: a goofy vampire action flick, chock full of clichés, with our 16th President as the main character.

Elliott Miller

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