If You Attack Me …You’re Sleeping on the Couch!

By Elliott Miller
14 years ago
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One of the problems I’ve faced, as I’m sure many have, is the gamers in your group who insist on taking a game too seriously. While a certain amount of seriousness is desired (we are here to play games after all, not text on the phone or make it apparent that you would rather be doing something else), there are those who take it too seriously and lower the fun factor of everyone else.

My own wonderful spouse has never uttered the words at the top of this post, but I have been in situations where it was prudent to just leave certain gamers alone just to avoid hurt feelings and arguments.

For example, I love playing Battlestar Galactica, but there are those in my group who actually become offended when you don’t believe that they are not a Cylon. The result being the infamous pout, or outright anger. (“Fine, throw me in the brig, this game is stupid anyway”)

Or the smugness, the despicable smugness. Smugness in humor is ok, if you are plainly just teasing or the group gets along well enough that you can say “dude, I crushed you!” and laugh about it. I’m talking about the smugness of the guy who sits and says nothing, then crushes you and then looks upon you with that smug dismissive smile as an inferior being. A bug that they have successfully crushed.

An example here would be a M:The Gathering tournament I was in, many years ago. It was my first and I sat facing a pimply faced teen in the first round. After only 2 or 3 turns, I was fireballed and forked and poof, I was out. The kid had uttered not a word, just played his cards with no concern as to what I did. I said it was a good game and held out my hand, and received the smugness in return. I realize he was just a kid and I just rolled my eyes and left, but I never played in another M:TG tournament, mostly from fear of embarrassment.

I’ve always tried to win with grace and lose with grace. Truly, winning or losing doesn’t matter to me. It is after all a game and I am there to have fun. If I had fun, then all is well. I’ll usually comment on the winners strategy and file it away for future reference, the winners usually like talking about their strategy and it makes for a great way to get past “End Game Awkwardness”. If I win, I just downplay it, I’m ready to move onto the next game.

But during the game, there are the uncomfortable situations that arise when you are forced to act against another player. It is after all part of the game, but they take it as a personal affront and dedicate the rest of the game to getting revenge, or just get PO’ed and refuse to play any more. That’s what I hate the most. Risk is a good example of this (yes I still play Risk sometimes, I like the LOTR version). While not the greatest game, many people still find themselves playing it on occasion, and many a good game has been ruined because of the player who gets mad because you attacked THEM, instead of the other guy. You then have to justify your attack, try to calm them down, assure them you only did it because you had too. Sometimes that still doesn’t work, and you tend to avoid attacking them in the future. Hey, I’d rather get wiped out and go play something else, than sit there with one or two territories for three hours.

Anyway, I’m turning this into a rant, so I’ll stop here. If you know what I’m talking about, sing out brothers and sisters. I’m going to take the advice I heard on a recent podcast, and see if I can lay my hands on a copy of Cosmic Encounter. In that game, your opponents are selected for you, so it would seem to lead to less hurt feelings. I’ve always wanted to try it anyway, so I’ll let you know how it goes.